Four days without my phone and I think I’ve been reset. Ready to conquer the world yet again. There’s just something about “unplugging” from the world that is so healthy and so beneficial. This past weekend, the Fellows headed to Black Mountain, North Carolina, for a 4 day retreat. The first night of the retreat we handed in our cell phones. That was Thursday night. We were without our phones until Sunday night. And let me tell you, it was glorious. When I got it back, it was as if I didn’t know what to do with my phone. Why do I spend countless hours checking and re-checking Instagram and Facebook, scrolling through mundane events of peoples lives that I’m not even close to? Why do we do that?
We do that because we don’t realize our capacity. We were made for more. SO much more.
We were made to be the hands and feet of Jesus. He wants us to be alone and without technology and be in the woods for hours just by ourselves. He wants us to THINK about our lives and our pain and our dreams and our fears.
The extent of our fear is the extent to which we don’t believe in the power of Resurrection and Redemption.
It’s crazy how we let fear run our lives.
A friend of mine on the phone today reminded me that God always orchestrates our lives perfectly–and when we overthink things and over-plan things, we’re not letting God rule our lives. I loved being on the retreat last weekend because I remembered that I am not in control of my life. God is. He has been and will be and will always be.
“A penny for your thoughts.” I found a penny on the ground today. A nice, shiny, 2015 one. Every time I find a penny on the ground I know God is just telling me to trust Him. That’s why it says “in God we trust,” right? I always think that at least. But this penny made me think today because of the date. I need to trust God with the future- yes. But the date. What was the date of the penny? 2015. 2015 is now! I need to trust God with the here and NOW. So going back to the quote, “a penny for your thoughts,” I think today I’m being reminded to pray. To give my thoughts to God. To talk to God. To tell him all of these anxieties and things I’m feeling. And to pray about the things in my life that I don’t understand more than I think about them or talk about them.
This week we have been taking leadership courses at CCL (Center for Creative Leadership), and I am just so thankful to have the opportunity to learn and grow this year. The group of Fellows is incredible (there are 14 of us!) and it is so clear that the Lord called us all to Greensboro for a reason. Some of us know the reason, most of us don’t. We just know we’re supposed to be here. And that is sure a good and reassuring feeling when 13 other people around you are feeling the same way. God has had this year of Fellows planned for years (and since the beginning of time), and we have this season together to just live life and see what God has up His sleeve. We don’t have to figure it out. Like God taught me when I studied abroad in Spain for a semester nearly a year and a half ago, I’m still learning the same lesson. The same dang lesson. And I need to keep learning it!
We don’t have to have it figured out.
He will show us what we need to know when we need to know it. Something my dear Uncle Roger always tells me is, “what you need to know will come to your knowledge without any effort on your part.” Now, ain’t that the truth. My Unc is a smarty pants. He knows what’s up. He has also lived 50 years of life more than me, so I think I had better take his advice.
So, this is my prayer. My prayer for this year is that I would focus less on myself and more on my Savior. Jesus. Just give me Jesus. I pray that I learn to live out my faith better than I ever have before and that my life would be more about others than it is about myself. I pray that everything I do would be done in love. I pray that I wouldn’t be afraid to mess up- as I jump into new roles, ministries, jobs, etc. I am scared. But I’m excited and I know the Lord is with me.
Work starts Monday. I become an official sales woman for AllOver Media on Monday. Monday. AH! Exciting. Reality. Life. It’s happening. I’m an adult. When did that happen? (Hopefully I won’t be turned down too much in the first few weeks…then again, those could become pretty good blog posts…)
p.s. this picture is my passe #FellowsFourteen
It’s only been a week, and I feel like I’ve known these people for a lifetime. That’s how God works. Outside of space and time. And it’s awesome. I’m so excited to see how this year unfolds!
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