Let me just clear this up right now:
If you’re questioning whether a guy likes you or not…you might already have your answer.
Maybe he does and he hasn’t said anything, but is that the kind of guy you want to be with? Someone who isn't clear about his intentions?
Just for the sheer fact that you are even wondering if a guy likes you…and you’re obsessing over it and reading into every little detail…..he probably doesn’t.
Let me say it again:
He. Doesn’t. Like. You.
I know I’m being blunt here. If you want to tell me about all the “signs” and things he’s doing to show that he likes you….save your breath. I’ve been down that road before.
“The sky is blue…and his eyes are blue! Oh my gosh, he must be the one!”
I’m sorry sister, he is not the one for you. Stop reading into every stupid little detail.
You see, if someone is interested in you, you’ll know it. You won’t question it.
I have fallen prey WAYY too many times to this in my life…hence why I am writing about it right now. I need to help someone out there who is hopelessly obsessing.
I get it. I’ve been there. You are not alone.
I’ve liked many different men throughout the years and thought to myself, “something has to be going on between us and he just hasn’t realized it yet….”
“He keeps asking me to hang out…he must like me.”
“He texts/calls me all the time and seems genuinely interested in my life…he must like me.”
“I just don’t know what’s going on between us, but like, he has to like me, right??”
Nope. That’s not how it works.
If someone likes you and is interested in you as more than a friend, there will be no doubt in your mind that they like you.
They will make an effort, they will ask you out, they will give you a CLEAR sign. And it will be as clear as a sunny day. (And if they do happen to have blue eyes, that’s a recessive gene, so congrats! Hopefully your kids will get them too.)
And word to the wise: if a guy is calling you all the time, asking you to hang out and do “date like” things all the time and he HASN’T said anything about wanting to date you? He’s got issues. Really. He isn’t emotionally healthy. He’s obviously using you emotionally until he gets a girlfriend, so do yourself a favor and distance yourself from him STAT.
Seriously.
There will be no “mixed signals” when it’s the right person.
But really, ladies. I’m serious about this. Can we stop being so desperate? I write this to the women in my life…but heck, maybe there’s a guy out there who needs to hear this too.
Respect yourself enough to not obsess over someone. Why are you desperately trying to find your validation in them liking you back anyway?
You want to be in a relationship? You want to get married? That’s great! But…..have you looked in the mirror? Would you date yourself? Are you the kind of person you’re even looking to be with? Ask yourself the hard questions.
Marriage is a long time so why are you wasting precious time obsessing over someone WHO CLEARLY DOES NOT LIKE YOU when you could be learning and growing and molding into who you’re supposed to be? Of course we all struggle with feeling lonely at times…but newsflash: if you’re lonely being single, you’ll be lonely in a relationship.
I think I have the right to write about this because I’ve been that girl….for far too long, with way too many guys. I’ve spent years wondering what was wrong with me because I was single or obsessing over some guy that had NO intention of ever dating me….reading into every little thing they did. I’d just like to save you some heartache.
Because, after all, doesn’t it suck to have to “get over someone” you never even dated? It does. It sucks. So catch yourself now. Please don’t fall prey to it.
I got asked the BEST question recently, so I thought I’d share it here:
“What evidence do you have that he likes you?”
Wow.
That hits home, right? Because if you can’t immediately start listing off legitimate answers?
He probably doesn't.
Stop forcing something that isn’t meant to be or isn’t good for you. Stop throwing yourself at someone who clearly is making no effort to date you. Respect yourself enough to know what you want and what you deserve and actually wait for that.
And please, oh please, stop overthinking every single thing that they do. If someone is interested, you won’t question it. So stop reading into a text message they sent you and LIVE YOUR LIFE.
If you put up with crap in relationships, that’s usually more on you than anyone else. Stop looking for your validation in a person. No human being can carry the weight of your soul. That is God’s job. So please, sister, stop complaining about being single. Stop worrying about “finding the one.”
Live your life, find what you love to do and ask God what he has for you. There is so much He has for you!
Because seriously, how much happier would we be if we stopped reading into TEXT MESSAGES?!?!
But you know what, if you really want a boyfriend, my friend who’s married told me to do this if all else fails: Smack his butt, say “good game!” and invite him on a picnic.
So who knows? It might work? And all of your overthinking will just fizzle away because he might actually tell you that he likes you after that. Let me know how it goes.
E
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