“No more running, Elsa,” I told myself as I sat in church listening to the sermon Sunday morning. “No more running away.”
It’s time to stay put for a while. To grow some roots where I am. And I’ve never been happier to say that.
I’m always looking for the next best thing. Are you like that too? I’m what you call, “The Enthusiast.” Always looking for the thrill, adventure – a little scattered and always busy. While all of these things are good, next what if I was actually just content with my life the way it was? With my body the way it was, and my job the way it was, and my home and friends and relationship status just the way they were?!
I’ve been trying to run away from the feelings of not being content where I am. And I am finally pressing into what God has been trying to teach me for years: Be exactly where you are, and live in the moment, for right now is all we have.
And it feels pretty darn good.
Mindfulness of where you are – mind, body and soul – is what brings you back to the present moment. I have been trying to practice mindfulness when I get internally stressed about things. Whether it be Boston traffic or lines or events not going according to plan.
Newsflash: Life isn’t going to go according to plan, so just roll with it!
Maybe you’re stuck in traffic because you need to make that phone call you’ve been putting off to your mom or dad, or maybe you’re waiting a little longer in line at the grocery store to exercise your patience. And maybe it isn’t about you – maybe the person next to you is having a bad day, and you can say something to make it better. There is always a reason for everything. Even what we consider to be the nuisances in life. There’s always a reason why things happen the way they do.
Life is happening now, and we will miss it if we are trying to run to the next thing or moment to be content. Why will you be content in the future if you aren’t content now? Who taught you that?
The only person that can make you happy is YOU. No job, boyfriend/girlfriend, house, prestige, amount of money can make you more content. Plus, the more you get, the more you will want. Have you ever had just one Oreo? Exactly. Case in point. You have one, and all you want is more. It’s the same with life. One is never enough.
So why not be content with the NOW and where you are, just as you are??
As much as we might not understand it, pain can catapult us to change. Think about how hot a bonfire gets – you can’t stay too close to the flames without doing something about it, right? You need to make some sort of change, or the heat from fire will continue to become more and more unbearable. Isn’t that the same with our own lives? We are so scared of pain and going through hard things, when in reality, the pain is the very thing that might be the key to setting us free. I know for me it did. And it still is. You get to a point where you have to make the decision: Am I going to do something to change the pain? You may not be able to change your situation or your chronic pain or your circumstances, but you CAN change yourself and your point of view. Why does your circumstance have control over? You have the power to change.
Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.
-Rumi
I can only see that the pain I have gone through in the past few years is for my benefit in hindsight. Life can only be made sense of in the rear view mirror. And sometimes, deep hurt, pain and sorrow are the very things that can violently set you free.
We are not promised tomorrow – we can’t wait to be happy tomorrow, or next week or next month when we are finally on vacation. We have to be content NOW.
I want to enjoy my life NOW. Today. In the midst of the 9-5pm life and running errands and being busy. Life is complicated. And there’s always more to do. Life is always undone. Laundry, food shopping, getting your car fixed – and there is always stuff to be done around the house. Life is always in motion. There will never be a moment where I have “arrived.” Even though I tend to think that way. And that is okay!
I’m learning to be okay and be happy and present in each day. Not waiting for the weekend and just getting through the week, but taking life each hour as it comes, and being present where I am. It’s amazing what you will see and experience as you practice being mindful in your life and being present in each moment. And knowing, deep down, that each circumstance, positive and negative, is for your good. The pain is for my good, just as much as the joy is for my good. We were made by a loving God who wants to give good gifts to his children, so maybe it’s time to actually live that way.
I got to babysit for the cutest family with three little girls the other night. It was one of the best babysitting jobs I’ve had in a while. It had me reflecting on my life and these exact things I’m learning. It’s amazing when you leave your phone behind and are fully present with kids – they end up teaching you so much more than you could ever teach them. The littlest one, just two years old, was so observant. She had a soul that ran free without abandon and the most carefree and content demeanor. She ran through the the grass and bent down to pick a “flower” (which at first glance, it looked like she was just picking a blade of grass and thought to myself, “Aww how cute, she thinks the grass is a flower!”). Well, much to my surprise, she brings over the tiniest little green flower that she found in the grass. Then she pointed up to the sky and just stated, “Moon!” I had to search the sky for a few seconds to even find the faint half moon she was referring to.
“She is so present,” I thought to myself. This little two year old isn’t worried about the laundry or errands or what’s going on next week. She isn’t worried about her next meal or what she is going to wear tomorrow. She is just fully present. Fully alive. And fully free! And because of that, she gets to notice the little joys of life. The baby flowers and the moon way up in the sky. She gets to experience the life that God meant for us all.
I think the best part of babysitting the girls was seeing myself in them. They were so carefree and happy and FEARLESS as they climbed the jungle gym for hours. Even the little one was climbing up the ladder without fear. (I think I was more scared that she would fall than she even was!) And then when she needed me, she had no shame yelling for me. “Help! I stuck! Help!”
It was the cutest thing ever.
And it hit me – that’s how God made us to be. Carefree and fearless. God knows we are fragile little two-year-olds, and we need His help. But he also made us to live wild and free. Why do we fear the jungle gyms of life, when God is right there below us, completely prepared to catch us if we fall? Can you imagine how free you would be and how fearless you would be if you actually lived this way believing this?!
God wants me to be free in Him. God wants us all to be free in Him. He is calling me to stop running away from my problems, because no matter where I go, I am still there. I’ve done a lot of running in the past few years, and the sermon on Sunday reminded me to stop.
“Stop running, Elsa.”
Can you relate to this at all? Are you running away or desperately trying to run to something and it’s just not working? Have you ever thought letting go might be the answer?
Contentment comes when we are content where we are. When we stop striving to be content in the future. Contentment won’t come when we have finally lost the weight or have that amazing job or are finally married with kids. The grass isn’t always greener.
Contentment with joy is great gain. And as I practice being content now, my thankfulness can only increase and my joy can only increase.
So, I’m staying. I’m staying where I am in good ol’ Bev Town, but also staying where I am in my own heart, mind and soul. I’m working hard to get where I want to be, but I am also okay resting in the Father’s arms to get me there. No more running. I’m staying where I am.
Are you desperately trying to get somewhere too? Wishing and hoping and striving to get to some new place in life? Life isn’t a destination. It’s the crazy adventures along the way. And why are you so scared of falling? Falling might be the very thing that will set you free.
Maybe the very answer to the thing you have been running to or from in right in this very present moment. Do you see it? Don’t miss it.
xo
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