Is it just me or do the things you overthink and worry about never actually happen?
This happened to me all weekend long. I knew I needed to write about it ASAP.
I was worried about so many different things. The thoughts were churning and I was overthinking like crazy.
Sound familiar?
The most ironic part? Literally every single thing I worried about and overthought DIDN'T EVEN HAPPEN.
I was all worried about two people butting heads in a meeting and one of them didn't even show up.
I was all worried about not being able to pick up the cupcakes for my friends kids birthday party because I got stuck in traffic. She just got someone else to pick them up and literally didn't care at all. No big deal.
And then I was overthinking and worrying about plans I had. I had overbooked myself. How was I going to fit it all in? Then last minute someone cancelled on ME. I then had time to do everything I needed to do.
So really glad I spent all that time worrying.
That was so productive.
NOT.
I overthink everything. I connect everything. I try to figure out everything. And I try to make everyone happy in the process.
It’s straight up exhausting.
I think so much of my inner turmoil comes from not turning my brain off.
I can’t seem to turn my mind off sometimes.
And I know there are so many people who struggle with this too.
Isn't a majority of the population on anxiety medications?
We can’t seem to quiet our minds.
I would for sure be the worst Monk.
Sitting alone with my own thoughts all day long?
NO THANKS. HARD PASS.
I'm in a season where I am learning the importance of my thought life and how I need to REIGN IT IN. I need to say NO when the Overthinking Roller Coaster Typhoon comes knocking at my door.
Our thoughts and minds are the breeding ground for overthinking and anxiety.
It's where all of the problems start.
You can't overthink something unless you had a thought about it, right?
It all begins in our mind.
This battle is not against flesh and blood, but in the spiritual realms.
And I think that spiritual realm includes our thought life.
And for me, a lot of my anxiety has come down to me trying to please everyone.
I try to make everyone happy.
And this is where my overthinking has always been the worst.
I worry about how my actions are affecting everyone else and what they think of me.
I am a textbook people pleaser. And I have been my entire life.
I have always been applauded for what I DO.
How I'm always DEPENDABLE.
How I'm always THERE FOR EVERYONE.
And how I am SO ENCOURAGING.
It's been really hard for me to learn how to say no.
I have felt so selfish when I actually do things for myself.
And I lack boundaries too. Did I mention that?
I can say yes to everyone and everything and then feel guilty when I let people down.
Newsflash: I AM NOT JESUS AND NEITHER ARE YOU.
Do you overthink?
Do you lack boundaries?
Are you a people pleaser?
Do you feel guilty for saying no?
Keep reading if you answered yes to any of these questions.
“You disrespect yourself every time you say yes when you wanted to say no.”
Let that sink in for a second.
I found this quote the other day and it SHOOK me.
But I’m a Christian? Aren’t I supposed to be sacrificial and loving and give give give until the cows come home?
Jesus himself had boundaries and we are trying to be like Jesus, right?
So why don’t you have boundaries?
What needs do you have inside that you are overcompensating for? What unmet need do you have that you are trying to fill by making everyone around you happy?
Maybe you’re like me and it’s the thing everyone has always loved you for.
Well, what happens when you start to not be? When you let people down? When you can't do it all? You move further away from home, you establish your own life...what happens when you STILL feel guilty?
You are codependent, my friend.
You are a people pleaser.
Welcome.
Boundaries. Codependency. Pleasing people. False guilt. It’s all related I think.
And I want to talk about it.
Codependency is simple: it’s taking responsibility for other peoples feelings.
How many people out there right now are doing this?
How many women are on pins and needles worrying about their husbands and what they're thinking and never being quite honest with them about their own feelings?
I did this for years on end with relationships.
I was always worried about other peoples feelings and adjusting my behavior and actions to make sure THEY would be alright. And never really saying how I felt. I didn't want to muddy the waters!
And I would be in my little brain overthinking
E V E R Y T H I N G !
And I’m over it.
I’m done.
I want to get healthy.
I am responsible for MYSELF.
AND MY FEELINGS.
AND THAT IS IT.
And the same goes for you.
As an adult, it is my responsibility to be open and honest with others about how I feel. But what’s not my job? Living on egg shells trying to guess how other people are feeling all the time.
So you passive aggressive people out there who are trying to leave “signs” to your boyfriend that you’re mad at him? Cut the crap.
JUST TELL HIM!
Be honest! Be open! Say what you need! Life isn’t a guessing game- and if you’re doing this in any relationships, not just romantic ones, you’re going to end up miserable.
I've been there.
I’ve spent a lot of years spending way too much time worrying about other people and their feelings and what they thought of me and how I was affecting them and yada yada yada.
And also thinking the world was out to get me.
Not anymore.
If you have an issue with me, and you haven’t told me, it’s not my job to guess what that issue is.
Got it?
Let’s all do ourselves a favor and be a little bit more loving and honest and real.
Life is way better when you’re not constantly worrying in your head anyway, right?!
Let's get off the roller coaster of overthinking.
Cause like I said, 99% of our worries never even happen.
E
P. S. I don't know where I heard this, but someone said to me that "Do not worry" is in the Bible 365 times. That's a command to not worry. That's enough for every day of the year. It's time to take that to heart!
P. P. S. In my overthinking, I've been laughing about some other jobs I could pursue if this writing career doesn't work out...
Stand-up. I’m funny.
Painting nails. I could give Cindy’s Nails a run for their money.
Call in sports mom. I'm a pro at drinking wine out of a Yeti and I can yell at your kids all day long at their soccer games. Give me a call!
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