Someone asked me the other day who bought me flowers.
My answer?
Me.
I bought myself flowers.
Why?
Because they made me happy! I knew they would brighten up my apartment.
You see, life is for living. Life is for these little joys. I'm not sitting around waiting for my life to happen anymore. Or for some guy to buy me flowers. I wanted flowers the other day at Trader Joe's, so I got them. Simple as that.
This is such a small example, but I think it really shows that when you finally start taking care of yourself in the little ways, big things begin to change.
I've been learning so much lately. It's blowing my mind. I just have to write it down because I don't want this time to escape from my grasp without trying to explain all that God is doing.
I am truly being blown away.
I wanted to share some things that have been on my mind recently and the lessons I've been learning. I write this advice mainly to myself, but maybe you need to hear it too.
1) Stop judging others based off of what you see. Or what you think you see. You have no idea why they are the way they are and there's a whole iceberg under the surface that you can't see. Be kind. Don't be so quick to judge. I was so convicted recently of speaking badly about someone I barely knew anything about. It's not okay. I know I will continue to fail at this, but I really want to work on it. I want to be a woman of integrity and taming my judgmental perspective is hard. Why? Because I've spent my whole life judging MYSELF. So of course it's easy for me to judge other people. Since I am always looking for something wrong in myself, I look for the same in other people. Scary how all of our issues are connected, huh?
2) Other people's feelings are not your responsibility. As a chronic people pleaser, this one is hard for me, but it's real. It isn't someone else's responsibility to make you happy, and it's not yours to make them happy. Happiness comes from within.
3) Self care isn't just bubble baths and buying yourself flowers like social media makes it out to be. You know what self care really is? Setting boundaries. Saying no. Cutting out people in your life who might not be healthy for you. Not talking to your ex. There's a reason they're called your ex.
Doing the hard work. Not being around people for too long who don't make you a better version of yourself. Holding your power and doing what's best for you even if it might hurt someone else. Self care is setting boundaries when you're being taken advantage of. Self care is not feeling the need to explain yourself to people who don't understand your point of view. Self care is stepping back and maybe doing less if you've always prided yourself in accomplishing everything on your checklist. And ultimately, self care is taking care of yourself so you are able to take care of those around you even BETTER. We can't serve from an empty wagon now can we. And why are we continuing to take advice from people about "loving ourselves" when those people don't even love themselves? Think about it.
4) Overthinking is paralyzing. And so many of my worries come when I'm alone. I realize I've been so afraid of being alone all this time. I have kept myself busy for years on end because I was afraid to be alone with myself. And I am coming to an acceptance with being alone. And it's great.
5) Trust people the first time. I have a few people in my life that I don't trust completely. They are TRULY trustworthy individuals, but just something about my past makes me not want to trust them. And it's not a gut feeling or anything, it's just my completely irrational overthinking brain. I'm learning that when people show you who they are, you have to trust them the first time. When people are kind to you and nothing but kind and giving, don't doubt them. Don't tell yourself, "Oh this is too good to be true, they can't really be that nice?" like I have been doing lately. Don't do that. Trust them.
6) "Stay in your lane." Stop judging people that are different from you. Don't pride yourself in how good you look just because someone doesn't do their makeup, and don't crap on someone who loves doing their makeup and hair every day just because you haven't shaved your legs in week. We are all different, we all have different preferences, and some girls wear lipstick to lift and IT'S GREAT! Some don't wear a lick of makeup like me, and IT'S GREAT! But just because someone is different than you doesn't mean you are worse or better. I think I pendulum swing thinking I am better than people and worse than people all day long. Anyone else feel that way?? Let's stop doing that.
Everybody is beautiful.
Every body is beautiful.
7) And lastly. Let's get our mindsets in the right place. We become what we focus on. So if you are still obsessed with your weight and dieting and having a restrictive mindset, that will become your life. How must MORE beautiful would your life be if you weren't so focused on being smaller all the time? How much more would you get out of life if your gaze shifted?
Yellow keeps coming up in my life.
Yellow flowers.
Yellow clothes.
And I love it.
My dad's favorite color is yellow.
The sun is yellow- bright, beautiful and radiant.
And that's what I want to be.
Bright.
Beautiful.
RADIANT.
2020 is the year of perfect vision. And how do we see clearly? The sun. The sun is what allows us to see...rather, the Son allows us to see clearly.
Look up, my friends. Let's spend 2020 looking up, judging less, being kinder and noticing the bright yellow flowers. It's amazing how much the little things will being to mean to you when you look for the good everywhere, as opposed to the flaws.
If we actually knew the power we had...and as women, if we knew the beauty we held (and this has nothing to do with our external looks), imagine how much we could change the world?
Hold your power.
Stand your ground.
Stop putting up with crap!
Live from that place of knowing who you are.
And when you know who you are?
That will change everything.
And I mean EVERYTHING.
You are whole. You don't need to wait for your life to start. Things might be hard right now, but the light will shine again tomorrow. The sun will rise again. Over and over, reminding us that there's always a new, bright day ahead.
Far better things ahead than any we leave behind, so let's leave 2019 in the past.
Let's get our eyes right in 2020.
The year of perfect vision.
And lots of sunflowers.
E
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