I go back and forth with a lot of things. Should I do this, should I do that? Do I really want to travel across the country AGAIN. But it became so much more apparent for me this year, and I’m not sure if it was something my best friend said or just God grasping at my heart, this simple sentence:
There will be a last time for all of this.
There will be a day I’m not booking the overpriced plane ticket and boarding the red eye to Newark. There will be a day I’m not alone during Thanksgiving, traveling through the airport again by myself. There will be a day dad doesn’t excitedly insist on picking me up from the airport at 4:30am. And there will be a day I’m not flying back home for the holidays.….and boy am I just glad that day is not today.
There will be a day I miss this — all this alone time while traveling. All the alone time in general. All the uninterrupted time with God. And I do not want to take this season for granted.
They say singleness is a gift, and I think I am starting to get it now. However, if you’re in this same boat, you too may want to punch someone when they remind you to “just enjoy it!!”
But something has been changing my perspective lately. It’s just become so apparent that I WILL miss this someday. And that nothing in my life is ever permanent.
Things change so quickly. And there is a last time for everything.
I can often think the grass is greener — someone else has it better. Someone else has it easier. Someone else doesn’t have a sick mom. Someone else isn’t alone. Someone else doesn’t have to sit on the dang red eye to Newark! But that’s simply not true. God has AMAZING things for all of us, in whatever season we are in. And the beautiful thing about God — well, one of the many — is that He meets us exactly where we are.
You are not behind.
You have not missed out.
God is not holding out on you.
Everything is working out, exactly the way God had it planned all along, and I can promise you, He knows what He’s doing. He’s not letting you feel lonely or flail around for nothing. It is ALL for a greater purpose.
And I think I’m just learning that I never want to take any season for granted, even if it’s not what I pictured for myself. Oftentimes I need to remind myself that this life I am living is actually better than what I could have planned out…and I hope you can relate.
I am growing and learning and healing…and I may never have been able to get here if I got married at 22 or didn’t move out to California at 25 or didn’t take the leap to move down to Oceanside at 28…. change is always on the horizon. And there will be a last time for all of this.
So I’m going to soak in travelling alone and not having to hold one of the crying babies on this flight. I’m going to hug my mama a little tighter this Thanksgiving and ask her more questions about her amazing career. I’m going to ask dad even more about his childhood and make sure I max out on belly laughs with him. There will be a last time for all of this, and I don’t want to blink and miss all the joy that’s right in front of me, right now, wishing for better days ahead.
All the goodness is right here. In the messiness. In the plans that didn’t go my way. On the red eye flight & God putting all of this on my mind to write ✍🏼
There will be a last time for all of this. And I don’t want to miss a single thing.
(Ps a HUGE shoutout to all the moms and especially the mama next to me, doing the mom bounce & hushing her baby back to sleep for literally this entire 5 hour flight. I don’t think she has slept a lick….moms are the real MVP’s of the holidays!!)
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