Do you ever get annoyed when someone reacts or responds a certain way? SAME.
Seriously...
I can't believe they're acting like that.
They think that way?
WOW.
They DIDN'T know that??
Why don't they do it the way I do it?
I do it all the time. Then I had this epiphany.
Have you ever thought that maybe they just DIDN'T KNOW?
It's like yelling at a baby, trying to get them to walk.
They don't know how to walk!
And furthermore, they don't have the experiences you've had to see things from your perspective. Same goes for adults...
They haven't lived your life.
They might not know better.
And why are we always expecting everyone else to react the same way as us anyway?As if our ways are superior? I've spent wayyyy too many years getting pissy about this.
We assume our ways are right, right?
But if you didn't grow up doing it that way or with those experiences....HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? I have a few friends who are so good at NOT judging others and it inspires me to be better.
I judge people all the time.
People that are similar to me and people that are different from me.
But like I always say, we do what we know until we know better! And we are ALL SO DIFFERENT! We were all raised differently and have different experiences. So before you judge someone else because they're doing something differently (like I do all the time), step back and think, maybe that's just what they were taught.
Maybe their parents did it that way so they're doing it that way too. And we can't judge other people for the things they don't know, or ourselves for the things we don't know. I've been catching myself Googling things a lot- and instead of feeling like a dumb dumb for not knowing something, I'm trying to just be like, "okay, NOW I KNOW!" I just always seem to learn things the hard way. It's annoying. Is anyone else like that? And I hate that everything just feels so scary when you do it for the first time. Or maybe scary isn't the right word- just like, uncomfortable.
And you just feel a little dumb because you don't know what you're doing, right?
But then you learn how to do it.
And it becomes a lot less intimidating. We need to stop thinking we are superior just because we do things "better" or differently than someone else.
And most importantly- we need to stop being so hard on ourselves when we DON'T KNOW how to do something.
Isn't that interesting? We judge other people for things...but then when you step back and look at it, you've really been judging yourself the MOST all along? We need to enjoy each other's differences! Cause HOT DANG if the world was full of Elsa Ketchum's, it would be a very loud, exhausting, emotional roller coaster of a place.
And wayyyyy too happy, I might add.
Thank GOD for friends who help us see life differently than us. Look around you. Are you surrounded by people who all look like you? Who all have your perspective? Maybe you need some new friends.
My friend Liz, who I've known since I was 19, helps me see things differently - she's the best. She loves Jesus, is married with two littles & she's so funny, real and loving. She has one of the purest hearts I know. She reminds me at least (if not more) weekly that I need to stay in my lane and not worry about everyone else so much. People do what they know. Many people are very happy with their boring routines & comfort zones- good for them.
But you know what? Who cares?
People might think my life is boring. Who knows!
Stay in your lane. Stop judging yourself so harshly, and in turn, judging everyone around you so harshly.They didn't have the same experiences as you - they just DON'T KNOW!!!
And going off my last post, it's so crucial to stop assuming. If you are worried or overthinking something, just ask! Cause you worrying you're being too loud or annoying or judging someone for the way they're doing something- they might not even know!
Some examples:
I don't understand why people save everything and hold on to so much junk. Why can't they simplify?? Then again, I also haven't lived in the same place for more than 2 years since I was 17....sooooo makes sense. That's my perspective! No wonder I think that way!
Or why are people are so wasteful and throw things away? And why don't people reuse leftovers?? Well growing up, my mom always said "USE IT TWICE!!!" so obvi it's my upbringing. That's why I am like that!
Or the random ways I save money? HELLO! NOBODY ELSE HAD LARRY AS THEIR DAD AND SARAH AS THEIR MOM!!! And let's just laugh about something I used to make fun of my dad for that I do now: saving zip locks. Not to the gross extreme of rinsing and washing them out...and reusing them until they fall apart...but you get the point. I get annoyed when people chuck a perfectly good zip lock because it had a cracker in it or something.
WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING???
RE - USE THAT!!
But I am just like that because of the way I was raised!! So if your roommate or spouse or friend is doing something that annoys you, just tell them! They might not even realize that leaving their shoes in the family room makes your blood boil. Let's just step back, give grace, stay in our lane, open up our perspective & laugh it off. We are all so different.
We were all raised so differently.
So again like I said, before you assume.....try asking. And let's just assume everything is fine unless someone says otherwise. Cause it's their job to vocalize it- not yours to guess it. And isn't life so much better when we just speak the TRUTH anyway? It might lead to a lot less overthinking. And one last thing- can we please stop being petty? Honestly. I don't mean to throw guys under the bus here, but ladies, really, they probably have no idea you're mad. So stop making them try to guess. No more games!!
We are in a freaking pandemic for heaven's sake- just tell it like it is!! If they're a guy, 99% sure they probably won't even know why you're even mad.....my married friends can weigh in on this.
Stop assuming. Stop playing games. Stop trying to "leave hints" about what you're mad about. I have done this. It's stupid.
Stop ignoring their texts.
Tell them how it is.
And if you have an issue with someone? TELL THEM. And vice versa.
It will make the world a much better place.
Xx
E
P. S. But really. Life is short. Stop getting your panties in a wad about stupid things. Stop thinking your ways are better. Stop and smell the roses and admire the pretty flowers. Life is much better when you spend your time on the things that ACTUALLY MATTER! And don't forget to call your grandma.
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