Airports are interesting. Usually, I’m a very gregarious and “talk to anybody” type of person. Not today. Not in this airport. There’s something about being surrounded by people, and not having to make conversation with a single one that makes me really happy. Is that weird to say? I don’t feel obligated to talk to anyone. And it’s glorious.
I had a fun time in Florida visiting with my sweet family, but gosh am I tired. I’m beat. And I’m not totally excited to go back to Greensboro either.
I’ve been learning a lot of things lately. I’m just such an over thinker it scares me. God has given me many gifts, but because of my worry and stress, it has been hard for me to see the silver lining. I am stressed. I do want to figure out what I’m supposed to do with my life. But that’s not the point of this Fellows program at all. And as much as I want to figure out the point of this Fellows program, I’m three months in & need to get over myself. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see [Hebrews 11:1]. Since when did I get in my mind that God owes it to me to show what’s coming next? I have absolutely no idea. And most days, it’s awesome that I don’t know what’s next. The world is my oyster & the Lord has things already prepared for me that I can’t even dream up. PTL! And since moving to Greensboro, He has proved His faithfulness over and over again. Things I do not deserve he has given me, and ways I didn’t think I needed refining in, I’m being refined to the core.
Back to Greensboro I go. It’s time to stop worrying about what’s next & enjoy what is now. I want to be present and be where I am. All there. Present. Back to my LaVida camping days, “be here now.” That’s how I want to live.
BE HERE NOW!
Lord, as I sit here in this airport with a million and one things spinning around in my mind, help me to let go. Help me to be present. Help me to see even more clearly the ways you are at work and how much you love me. It’s amazing! The grace you give me daily is unexplainable & I want to live presently and where you have me. Teach me to be present. To be in the moment. To live in the moment and to stop worrying so much about the future and what’s next. I’m so quick to be prideful and take credit for things. The word I asked everyone to pray for me this year was “deny.” Holy crap am I denying a whole lot. Everything it feels like. But Jesus, you are with me and you love me more than I can fathom. Let me live in a way that gives you the glory– and help me to care for those around me well, and learn to be cared for well too. I am your daughter and I want to love others and love myself. I get off balance easily. Remind me who I am in you today. I love you, Jesus!
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Fun fact about my trip to Florida: we talked a lot about our family’s roots in Canada (my grandmother, grandfather, 2 aunts and father were all born & raised there!), and I found out that the word Canadians use for a couch is “chesterfield.” Neat, eh?
ps a great article everyone needs to read. If you’re like me and have a tendency to love others more than you love yourself & suck at taking care of yourself, this article is for you! Check it out!
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