We were having Christmas dinner leftovers: Tri Tip, Caesar salad, scalloped potatoes and broccoli casserole.
Christmas plates and all.
She asked Alexa to play Mulan and then proceeded to sing at the top of her lungs (in the most exaggerated way),
"I'll make a man out of YOUUUUUU!"
And it hit me.
This is the good life. This is what people crave in life.
To have families that love them, to be total goof balls together and to be with laughing children (after all, nothing is more infectious in the entire world than Abbie Kate's mischievous little laugh).
When I was with Abbie yesterday, I was challenged to just stop thinking about myself. To stop being so hard on myself about my body, what I looked like, for what I had eaten and to just be 100% present with my main squeeze.
It's sure nice to be around children sometimes.
They literally have zero stress.
Everything just seems simple for them.
And they get excited about the tiniest things.
Watching Abbie run around at the park and yell "PUPPY!" at every dog she saw....that's the good life.
And this is how God asks us to live.
As little children.
As unashamed children.
As children who feel every emotion.
And as children who live with unbridled joy.
I don't know when the shame begins, but all I know is Abbie doesn't have it. And it's awesome.
She literally has NO SHAME flailing her tiny body around, singing songs in public or at home. She eats whatever she wants, says no to whatever she doesn't want and prances around as happy as can be a majority of the time. She just loves her life!
And nothing is hard yet.
(Except her naps. Maybe those are hard. I'm sure her parents can think of plenty of other things that she isn't exactly joyous about, but I digress...)
Abbie isn't ashamed of anything!
Even when she's ripping off her diaper during nap time and wailing at the top of her lungs, she isn't ashamed AT ALL.
She isn't worried about what ANYBODY thinks of her as she throws her diaper across the room and jumps up and down in her crib.
Why aren't we more like that??
(Oh I guess maybe because wearing diapers as an adult is frowned upon...and throwing them across the room is even more of a no no....)
But really.
My point here is about the shame.
Why aren't we more like Abbie?
Totally unashamed to just be ourselves and feel whatever we need to feel and just let out our emotions??
Why do we keep them all bottled up inside, stressing out about them and overthinking everything???
Abbie is my saving grace.
Time with her reminds me of the way God sees me. The way I love that little girl is just a tiny fraction of the love God has for me. And that's just plain crazy to try to wrap my head around because I freaking love that little ham.
Nothing is better in the world than Abs running into my arms and saying she loves me.
"Ella. Ella!! Ella!"
"I love you!"
"Bye!!"
Nothing is complicated for Abbie.
She is so present in every moment.
Being around her reminds me that life is a lot more simpler than I seem to make it most days.
Sure, she hasn't been slapped in the face with adulthood yet. She doesn't realize how expensive life is and how much insurance costs. And the stress of a rock hitting your windshield on the freeway (Which did happen to me yesterday on my way to see Abbie. HA HA!)
But what she does know?
How to live with abandon.
How to live the way God intended us to live.
So today, whatever you're going through, remember this:
Things are a lot more simpler than you might be making them.
Acknowledge the hard and the sucky things. It's okay to cry and scream and jump up and down like Abbie does at nap time.
But also remember to take a step back when things seem really hard.
Your pain matters, but things could always be worse.
In the hard times, count your blessings. Remember what you're grateful for. List it out.
Cling to the people that love you. Stop scrolling. Call and ask for help when you need it.
Get together with someone who can remind you of the things you love in life.
Get out of your head!
And most importantly?
Spend time with little kids.
Life is noticing the kitty cat in the window on the walk home from the park.
Life is singing Disney songs at the top of your lungs at the dinner table.
Life is the little things after all.
And maybe we all just need to stop thinking so much and be more like a two year old.
I mean look at her!!!!!!!
E
P. S. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. In the good and bad, there's always a reason. Everything is connected. Always. People make fun of me for seeing the good in everything, even crappy situations. But really, I think sometimes things don't work out because we are being protected from something. Maybe that relationship or job didn't work out because there's something better. Maybe that horrible thing happened to you so you'd see what is truly important. Maybe God's hand is protecting you from something even worse. And maybe those body image issues? Or the self doubt? Maybe it's because you're meant to help someone else who's struggling. You are never alone. Even in the mess of of life and unexpected bills, you are always being taken care of. Especially when it's Tuesday and it still feels like Monday. Everything is going to be okay. My life is too crazy to not believe this. I promise.
P. P. S. As Abbie would say, "BORINGGG." How boring would life be if we didn't have any problems? If your kid never had poop explosions in daycare or you never drove to your nail appointment just to find out the salon shut down and they never called to tell you? What would we even talk about?? What would we even laugh about?
P. P. P. S. Get rid of the shards of judgement you hurt yourself with every day. Throw them out. You don't realize how the little negative things you say to yourself all day long have been cutting you like little shards of glass. It's time to get out of your head.
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