You feel me? When we’re busy and over-scheduled, we just want time off, right? We think the stress will dissipate and everything will be fine if we just had a night in or didn’t have an appointment to go to. “Once things slow down, I’ll ...."
You fill in the blank.
Then flash forward, you’re not as busy and stressed out. Maybe you are even a little bored in life or a lot of things get cancelled. You think “I have no friends” and “I’m not busy enough” and “I’m wasting my life and time because I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing!!”
Or we get the new car, we get the house, we get the dream job, we get married….and still, we want MORE. We aren’t content with what we have. We are constantly unsettled.
What the heck is wrong with us? Why are we never satisfied?
A few reasons, I think:
We compare our lives to what we THINK other people’s lives are really like (and we assume a lot of things…) I was recently talking to a friend who was having a HORRIBLE vacation, but from her Instagram, it looked like she was in paradise and having the time of her life….stop assuming, people. You have no idea what others are going through. Stop comparing your life to a picture of someone else’s life. Unless you know them as a close friend, you really have no idea.
We think that the grass is greener. We see or hear about someone buying a new house, going on a nice vacation, starting a business or getting a promotion …yet do we really have any idea about how that person’s actually doing? I really think if everyone you were comparing your life to threw their issues/hurts/shortcomings/family drama into a pile, you would RUN to grab your own life back …think about that for a minute. I know I would. When we think someone else’s life is better, we really don’t know. We assume, and you know what they say about assumptions…they make an ass of you and me.
We are scared to NOT be busy because then we might actually have to slow down and deal with our issues…and feel our own feelings…BUT ELSA, NO, THAT IS SCARY! There’s a reason Monks give their whole lives to this …because slowing down is HARD. Don’t know about you, but I could never be a Monk. To start, I talk way too much and literally make friends everywhere I go, so sitting with my own thoughts all day alone…Lord, take me now. No thank you. But why am I so afraid of just sitting with those uncomfortable feelings sometimes? Why do we stay “busy” just for the sake of being busy? Am I trying to stuff down something I don’t want to think about or deal with? What issue have I NOT dealt with?
“Feeling the need to be busy all the time is a trauma response and fear-based distraction from what you’d be forced to acknowledge and feel if you slowed down.”
That’s good, right? My friend sent me that the other day.
Is there something you’re trying to avoid? Maybe you need a counselor. I saw mine yesterday, and it was great. Deal with your issues people, or they will deal with you. They will just keep coming back through different situations and different relationships. We are creatures of habit. If we don’t nip a bad habit in the bud, it will just come back in a different form. Trust me. Get your issues out by the root. This is painful and takes time, but the work is always worth it.
Stop wishing for someone else’s life and start being happy with your own.
THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER.
We live in a constant battle in our own minds to find contentment.
Joy with contentment is great gain.
Be thankful and grateful for the things you DO have. I can promise you that things you’re taking for granted are things someone else is desperately praying for.
We are never going to arrive or feel “complete.” Life happens in the in-between moments. It’s not about the accomplishments or arrival points, but how you spend your life in the in-between times. Life is constant change. How are you dealing with the changes? The unsettledness? Are you trying to squirm your way out of it by just staying “busy?”
Sit in those uncomfortable feelings.
Deal with them.
That might be the beginning to a whole lot of growth.
E
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